Alexandria's Mess: Missing Women, Bankrupt Church, and Football? You Can't Make This Stuff Up
Alright, let's dive headfirst into this dumpster fire in Alexandria, Louisiana. Missing women, a bankrupt diocese swimming in sex abuse claims, and high school football triumphs all crammed together? Give me a break. It's like a twisted Southern Gothic novel, but real, and way less entertaining.
The Church's Sins (and Bankruptcy)
So, the Diocese of Alexandria filed for bankruptcy. Big deal, right? Except it is a big deal when you realize it's because of 85… and counting… clergy sexual abuse claims. Eighty-five lives potentially shattered, and the church is pleading poverty. Bishop Robert W. Marshall, Jr. even issued an apology letter. Oh, how touching.
He says, "We are at this moment for one reason: some priests sexually abused minors." You think? No, really? Is he expecting a medal for stating the obvious? Like, maybe he deserves a Nobel Prize in Duh?
And get this—they're a "Mission Diocese," meaning they can't even keep the lights on without handouts. Apparently, serving a "largely rural and economically disadvantaged population" doesn't pay the bills, especially when you're shelling out millions to cover up decades of horrific abuse.
They've got $16.7 million in assets, $9.5 million in liabilities, and a measly $4 million plus insurance for victim compensation. That's not even enough to buy each survivor a decent used car, let alone compensate them for a lifetime of trauma. Julien Lamothe, a lawyer representing some of the victims, said the survivors have been waiting for closure. No kidding. Five years and $50 million in attorney fees for the New Orleans archdiocese settlement? Alexandria doesn't have that kind of money, he says. Well, maybe they shouldn't have let all those priests run wild in the first place. Just a thought.
But wait, there's more! This "lookback" measure in Louisiana extends the deadline for filing sexual abuse claims. Translation: the diocese is probably sweating bullets, knowing that number of claims is only going to climb higher.
Where's the Humanity?
You know what really grinds my gears? The cold, calculated way these institutions handle these situations. It's all about damage control, protecting assets, and minimizing payouts. Where's the genuine remorse? Where's the accountability? They shuffle abusers from parish to parish, let them retire quietly, and then act surprised when the chickens come home to roost.
They knew Fr. Leo Van Hoorn was a serial abuser back in the '60s, and what did they do? Transferred him. Seriously? It’s like playing musical chairs with a predator.
And this poor guy, "Lou Doe," abused by Van Hoorn as a kid in the '60s. The guy comes into his bedroom and masturbates in front of him. What kind of monster does that? And then gets to retire with a pension?
I ain't even Catholic, but this makes my blood boil.
Meanwhile, there's a woman missing since 2020. The article's description is literally "{{description}}". It's a placeholder. We don't even know who she is. Is anyone even looking anymore? Details on her disappearance are non-existent, which says a lot. A whole lot. Authorities continue to search for woman who went missing from Alexandria back in 2020
Friday Night Lights... Seriously?
And then, as if to add insult to injury, there's a football team in Alexandria making headlines. Alexandria vs. Spring Lake Park in the Class 5A state quarterfinals. A "running game showcase," no less.
While the diocese is crumbling and a woman is still missing, the town is rallying around a bunch of teenagers chasing a leather ball. Don't get me wrong, I love football. But the juxtaposition here is just… insane.
Talan Witt is shredding defenses, Brody Berg is running wild, and the Cardinals are heading to state for the fourth time in five years. Great. But maybe, just maybe, some of that energy could be directed towards, I dunno, helping abuse survivors or finding a missing person?
It's like Nero fiddling while Rome burns, except instead of a fiddle, it's a Friday night football game. Am I being too harsh? Probably. But somebody has to say it.
Just Another Day in America...
You know, sometimes I wonder if we're all just living in a simulation. A badly written one, at that. The sheer absurdity of this situation—the missing woman, the bankrupt church, the football team—it's just too much. It's a grim reminder that some things never change, and that justice is often a luxury few can afford.