So the government finally got around to announcing the big Social Security "raise" for 2026. Break out the champagne, I guess? The number is 2.8%.
Let that sink in. Two. Point. Eight. Percent.
I can just picture the scene in some sterile DC conference room. A bunch of bureaucrats in ill-fitting suits, patting each other on the back over a PowerPoint slide showing that number. They probably had catered sandwiches. Meanwhile, millions of seniors are staring at their grocery bills, trying to figure out if they can afford both eggs and milk this week.
This isn't a cost-of-living adjustment. This is a rounding error. It's a statistical nod to the fact that, yes, things cost more, but we're not going to do much about it. It's an insult wrapped in a press release, and they expect a thank you note.
A Masterclass in PR Spin
The Social Security Administration Commissioner, Frank J. Bisignano, had the gall to say this: “Social Security is a promise kept, and the annual cost-of-living adjustment is one way we are working to make sure benefits reflect today’s economic realities...”
Let’s translate that from PR-speak into English. "A promise kept" actually means "the bare minimum required by law." And "reflect today's economic realities"? Give me a break. Whose reality? Certainly not the reality of anyone on a fixed income who’s seen the price of, well, everything skyrocket. Does anyone in that entire administration actually go to a supermarket? Do they understand that the price of bread didn't just go up by 2.8%?
This whole COLA announcement is like a waiter finding a fly in your soup, apologizing profusely, and then offering you a single, stale saltine cracker as compensation. It’s a gesture so laughably inadequate that it’s more insulting than doing nothing at all. The cracker doesn't fix the soup, and a 2.8% bump doesn't fix a budget being eaten alive by inflation. It's just a way for them to say they did something, so you'll shut up and eat your bug-soup.
And what about the formula they use to calculate this? It's a notorious joke. As advocates like Shannon Benton of The Senior Citizens League have pointed out for years, it's based on an inflation index for urban wage earners. Last I checked, the spending habits of a 35-year-old commuter are wildly different from those of a 75-year-old retiree, whose budget is dominated by healthcare and housing—two sectors where inflation is running rampant. But changing the formula would be hard. It would require admitting the current system is a failure. So, instead, we get another year of stale crackers.
The Brutal Math of "Meager Increases"
Let's do the actual math, since the government hopes you won't. The maximum federal SSI benefit for an individual will go from $967 to $994 a month. That’s a whopping $27. Twenty-seven dollars. That might cover a couple of gallons of gas, a few cartons of eggs, or maybe one co-pay for a prescription. It's not life-changing; it's not even life-sustaining. It's a pittance. For couples, it’s a $41 increase. Enough for a cheap dinner out, once.
This is a bad joke. No, 'bad' doesn't cover it—this is a five-alarm dumpster fire of a policy. And to add insult to injury, the news that Social Security recipients can expect a 2.8% increase in benefit payments for 2026 was delayed because of a government shutdown. Our elected officials were so busy playing political chicken that they couldn't even deliver the news about these pathetic benefit increases on time. It’s just another reminder of where seniors, and frankly all regular people, rank on the list of DC's priorities. Hint: it’s somewhere below posturing for cable news.
The number itself is telling. At 2.8%, it's barely above last year's 2.5% and still below the ten-year average of 3.1%. So in a period of significant economic pain for many, the "adjustment" is below average. Offcourse it is. It's a system designed not to provide security, but to manage decline. It's meant to keep the spreadsheets balanced, not to keep people out of poverty.
So when that one-page notice arrives in your mailbox in December, don't be fooled by the official letterhead and the professional tone. Don't let them convince you this is a gift. It's the absolute least they could do, calculated by a broken formula, and delivered with a condescending pat on the head. And honestly...